On Fri 7th Nov I did my school visit stuff at Bay House School, in Gosport: three sessions of around 45 mins apiece with about ninety students in each session. It was TERRIFIC! All three groups were wonderfully attentive and asked all sorts of excellent questions. If anyone who was there happens to be reading this, it was a pleasure speaking to you: thank you! 🙂

As followers of this blog will know (perhaps all too well! ;p) when I post about a school visit it’s at this point that I traditionally put up a bunch of pics of me talking and gesticulating, vibrating, scratching, or waving my arms about like an idiot as usual.

Well: here, by way of a change, is….!

The above is just one of a selection of AWESOME posters that Bay House Ninja Librarians Caroline and Fleur had put up all around the school to promote my visit. Isn’t it great? And here (below), I kid you not, is a MOBILE they’d constructed to represent Tim being attacked by Professor Mallahide’s nanobots…!

Here (below) is a backdrop with more images from Tim – and some from Black Tat, too: I stood in front of it while I did my talks. My photo doesn’t really do it justice, but if you look closely you can make out the Kraken, the (or a-!) Dragon, Esme’s butterflies and more besides.

And here’s a pic of how the whole day made me feel! 🙂

A VAST AND GLEEFUL THANK YOU to Caroline and Fleur for their poster genius, and to everyone I met and spoke to, but especially to Joy Hammond for inviting me to Bay House and giving me such a wonderful warm welcome. I thoroughly enjoyed my visit. I hope everyone got something out of listening to me! 😉

Wotcher. Got a few different bits and pieces for you, this time.

First up, I was delighted to see a certain giant monster make a topical appearance in the current issue of one of my favourite magazines, namely Private Eye. Their ‘In the City’ column traditionally examines shady goings-on in London’s financial district. So imagine my surprise, when….

HEE HEE HEE! 🙂

Next up, here’s a question from Matthew – yep, the same Matthew who made the awesome Chinj pic from the previous post! – who really got me thinking when he asked:

After finishing The Black Tattoo and studying Hinduism, I wondered if the Dragon, the Brotherhood and the Scourge had any links with the three Hindu gods Brahman, Vishnu and Shiva, ie Brahma – the Dragon; Vishnu – the Brotherhood; Shiva – the Scourge. I was just wondering and thought I would point it out.

Wow.

Um, to be honest with you, Matthew, the short answer is ‘no’. Hinduism had no direct influence on Black Tat – or none that I was conscious of, at least. While I’m familiar with some bits and pieces of Hindu mythology and theology, by the sounds of it you know more about it than me! But I’m sure I was influenced unconsciously by it – as I am in everything I write, by everything in the world around me.

Nothing that anyone writes or creates can ever be completely original. Whatever you do will be influenced by things that have been done before – including the things you’ve experienced or read about, the things you learned from, let alone archetypes, standard elements of a creative work such as, for stories like Black Tat, heroes and villains.

For a long time, when I was younger, that fact used to bother me. The impossibility of making something that was completely new was very frustrating. Sometimes it even seemed like if I couldn’t be completely original then it just wasn’t worth the bother of creating anything. But then I changed my mind.

Everyone has influences – a vast, bubbling mixture, some elements of which an individual won’t even be aware of. While you can (and should, I think) add to the mixture – expand your influences, by experiencing and discovering and finding out about as much as you can – there’s no subtracting from your influences or getting away from them. There’s no going back.

But here’s the thing: it’s the mixture that makes us different – the particular combination that gives a creative work, or even a person, their own special style and flavour.

The expression of that mixture in a way that excites me – and, I hope, other people! – is what I chase after in my stories.

I wish you the best of luck in chasing yours.

Lastly, while we’re talking about Black Tat, here’s something very cool that arrived in the post this week. It’s another edition, this time published in German!

As you can see, like the US paperback, my German publishers Blanvalet have gone for the classic black on white look first developed by the design team at Random House Children’s Books UK (yay!) – isolating the figure of Charlie [actually posed by Mr P’s son, Ian, fyi!] from John Jude Palecar‘s awesome painting. But that red sticker on the front is a cheeky new twist! If you can’t read it, it says “‘Kotzende Fledermause? Ich bin begeistert!’Neil Gaiman“. For a translation of that quote – and the story of how I got it! – check out this interview. Hee hee hee HEE!

Meanwhile, on the same day as my copies arrived (how’s this for speed…?) the first comment from Germany came in on the Black Tat Guestbook. If you’re reading this, Vanessa, thank you very much indeed for your kind (and beautifully expressed) words!

Floof. A longish post this time, but it’s deliberate. Fact is, I’m about to go intermittent on you again while I return to PHASE THREE, so I wanted to leave you with a decent meaty chunk to chew on while I’m off back down the story-mine. As ever with a first draft, there’s a lot of work to be done. But I’m doing what I love, so I’m not complaining! Hope you’re doing the same. 🙂

First up, take look at THIS:

Step up and take a bow Matthew of Runcorn, Cheshire (UK), for this fantastic pic of one of the Chinj from Black Tat. You can bet it’ll be up on the Black Tat site’s Reader Art Page for posterity to savour just as soon as THE WEBSPHINX gets back from maternity leave. -I mean, isn’t it terrific? 🙂 🙂

Now: Q&A time again – and given the current international financial shenanigans it’s a fairly topical one, being as it is about money. Gemma, from Osbourne, one of the schools I visited on my Isle of Wight Tour, asks:

When someone buys one of your books, does all the money go to you?

The answer, unfortunately for me I guess(!) is No. I get a percentage, sure, but it’s not massive – it varies, but a guideline figure would be around ten percent of cover price. That means that for each copy of the UK paperback of Black Tat, for example – current cover price five pounds ninety-nine – I theoretically get something like sixty pence. Factor in stuff like paying my agents, my taxes and other costs, and it’s less – maybe 40p a copy.

Seems unfair? Actually it’s nothing like as bad as it sounds. Don’t forget, books cost money to make, as well as write. From the proceeds of each copy sold the publishers also have to pay – to name just a few – editors, proofreaders, designers, artists, printers, the marketing team, the sales force, booksellers (in the form of discounts) and many more other costs besides. A huge amount of work and commitment and effort goes into every single book, from lots of people besides the writer.

But, yeah. If you’re thinking that you would have to sell a lot of books to get really stinking rich at this “author” caper, you’d be absolutely right. So: I would never recommend writing as a sensible career choice for anyone. On the contrary, as a kindly author once told me when I was starting out, Don’t do it unless you can possibly avoid it! Big names like Rowling, Patterson, Meyer or Paolini might make headlines for their fortunes, but they are exceptional. If you want to make money there are much easier ways to do it than writing books.

For myself, money is, naturally, great when it comes. But the only way I can sanely proceed with my own sinister masterplan to conquer the universe is with insane ambition (of course!) but without any actual expectations other than the continuing chase after my own passion for, and belief in, what I’m doing.

Anything else – including awesome Reader Art (thanks, Matthew!) and excellent questions like this (thanks, Gemma!) – I tend to see as a bonus. YAY! 🙂

FLOOF. Sorry for slight radio silence, but I’ve only just managed to recombobulate myself after last week’s incredible three-day tour of schools in The Isle of Wight: three days of speaking to my biggest crowds so far, a total of something like 1,600 thoroughly awesome young people!

Here (yikes!) is a short film I’ve managed to put together in the hope that it’ll give you a flavour of what it was like. As ever, my film-making leaves something to be desired, but the music is the Main Title from Mars Attacks, by Danny Elfman, who is a genius! 😉

An UNSPEAKABLY HUGE THANK YOU to Jenny for inviting me to the Island and for looking after me so attentively, to Diana at the Sea View B&B in Ryde for putting me up in such comfort, and to the staff and students at Swanmore, Ryde High, Mayfield, Kitbridge, Osborne, Forelands, Lake and Sandham for the wonderful kindness and warmth of their welcome. My first visit to the Island as a published author was an absolute hoot (check out the book-themed fancy dress in the pics from Lake!!!) I look forward to coming back one day very soon. YAY! 🙂

Today’s mission was four quickish (thirty to forty min-) sessions at the City of London School, which – if you happen to be a certain GIANT MONSTER – is located at convenient stomping distance from lots of deliciously vulnerable London landmarks, notably this:

Yep, it’s poor old St Paul’s!

When I explained to the students that Tim basically involves the total and utter destruction of everything visible from their school’s windows…

…their reaction surprised me. A number were extremely keen to discover whether the school itself was also trashed in the book. I just can’t imagine why, can you?? I mean, I thought the place looked rather nice! ;p

A thunderous thank you to Mr Rose and everyone else I met today for their wonderfully warm welcome. 🙂

Tomorrow I’m off on my Isle of Wight tour! Three days of three talks a day to around 250 people in each session – it’s going to be AWESOME. However: internet access at the B&B where I’m staying is apparently dial-up only. I’ll do my best to keep in touch, but if I don’t manage it (and I survive the tour!) I’ll be back soon to tell you how it all went. Scrunch you later!

Here are a couple of quick pics from yesterday’s visit to Burford School, in Oxfordshire.

I gave two short talks to the Year 7 students there, who are terrific – very welcoming and full of excellent questions!

A big thank you to Lynne for inviting me; to Polly and Joseph of Jaffe and Neale for their Samurai Bookseller skills; to Luke for kindly taking these photos – and to everyone I met and spoke to. HURRAH! 🙂

Q&A time again – in a new and sinister way! This one goes out to Andrew from Essex, who wrote in to the Tim Guestbook last week. Please excuse my stumbling steps with this new gadget: Guillermo del Toro I most certainly ain’t! ;p

The music that’s adding some much-needed class to my, um, somewhat ad hoc title sequence(!) is Dreadlock, by Future Prophecies. Got another question for me? Now you know what to do! ;p

Meanwhile, in other news, I’m ECSTATIC to announce that we have a brand new winner in the Black Tat No Monsters Were Harmed In The Making Of This Website Competition! Yes! Step forward and take a bow Jamie with his awesome Nectarine Slices! Isn’t that beautiful? It looks just like something from the Dragon‘s insides, or the end of the universe. Or, as readers of Black Tat will know, both – HEE HEE HEE! 🙂 The competition continues. Fancy your chances? Give it a wallop!

I’m writing this in some haste, partly because of all the hours I’ve ended up spending fiddling with this film. It’s harder than it looks! -Or, heh, it was for me, anyhow! 😉 But it was a worthy experiment, I hope you’ll agree, and one that I may repeat from time to time in the future. However, now I need to get away from the screen and get some shut-eye, because I have an amazing week of events in front of me! Tomorrow I’m doing my stuff at Burford School, in Oxfordshire. On Monday I’m off to The City of London School For Boys for four short talks there. Then on Tuesday (get this!) I’m travelling to The Isle of Wight for a three-day tour of schools there! By the sounds of it I’m going to be speaking to some of my biggest audiences yet. I’m very excited! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Hee hee hee! I’m very happy with this: it’s a new feature for the Tim site in which the mighty Katie WebSphinx herself explains how she achieved its look – and how /you/ can cause Tim-style Kaiju Carnage of your own!

Katie is the pulsating brain behind pretty much everything you see on my sites. But when she and I first started putting ideas together for the Black Tat site she decided she’d prefer to keep her shadowy genius in the background, Ninja style. Having Katie’s words (and feet!!) out here front and centre for all to see is, therefore, a unique treat – but it’s a particularly timely one, right now, as she’s about to take off on maternity leave.

I’d like to take this opportunity to say an unspeakably gigantic THANK YOU, KATIE! And to wish her, Mr Will, and the impending Sphinxlet(!) much love and all the very best.

Meanwhile, look what just came through the door…!

It’s the all-new Portuguese edition of Black Tat! It’s published by Edicoes Gailivro in their Mil e Um Mundos series (which also includes Stephenie Meyer, Anthony Horowitz and the especially awesome Geoff Ryman!) and it’s very handsome large format paperback. I was particularly delighted to note that ‘yuck’, as in my dedication, ‘To Laura, “My heart is in my hand …Yuck“, appears in Portuguese as, wait for it:

‘…blargh.’ 🙂

Hello!

Yep, ’tis I, fresh sprung from my slumbers. No kidding about my previous post’s ‘Sam sleep now’: Phase Three‘s first draft must have left me more knackered than I thought because for the last two weeks I’ve been racking up about eleven hours’ kip a night! But today I snapped awake for my first school visit of the new academic year – namely a return to St Augustine’s in Kilburn, London, for what were my second and third creative writing workshops, ever.

I’m still a little hesitant about workshops: I don’t like books and stories to be always associated with ‘work’. But the imagination of some of the Year 10 students in these sessions was a thrill to witness. It wouldn’t be right for me to tell you the best ideas I heard – they belong to their creators. Here are just two standout sentences to give you a flavour.

The first is simple yet chilling:

“She was alive but she was rotten inside.”

And the second…

“On the bus he reached down for his ticket – and found that his trousers had vanished.”

Today’s sessions were a bit, um, experimental in places on my part(!!) so my particular thanks to the staff and students I saw today. I hope you got something out of listening to me, because I thoroughly enjoyed listening to you.

Sam has written new book. Sam tired. Sam sleep now.