{"id":261,"date":"2009-02-02T10:13:33","date_gmt":"2009-02-02T18:13:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.timdefenderoftheearth.com\/news\/?p=261"},"modified":"2009-02-02T10:13:33","modified_gmt":"2009-02-02T18:13:33","slug":"last-seen-in-newcastle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.timdefenderoftheearth.com\/news\/?p=261","title":{"rendered":"Last Seen In Newcastle"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>My thanks to EILEEN ARMSTRONG and everyone else I met there for a fantastic evening at the <strong>North East Teenage Book Awards<\/strong> last Friday. My fellow prisoner <a href=\"http:\/\/www.tommydonbavand.com\/2009\/02\/01\/north-east-teenage-book-awards\/\">Tommy Donbavand has written a fine account of the nicer parts of the night<\/a>, so hit the link to take a look. But&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Sigh. If only the rest of the weekend had gone as smoothly. I have spent the last forty-eight hours strapped upside-down in a bucket of <strong>unspeakable monster fluids.<\/strong> That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not something I do for fun, I hasten to add. No: this was a PUNISHMENT, administered to me by my captors, for the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153crime\u00e2\u20ac\u009d of recording and smuggling out the following frantic message:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><object classid=\"clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000\" width=\"425\" height=\"344\" codebase=\"http:\/\/download.macromedia.com\/pub\/shockwave\/cabs\/flash\/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0\"><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\" \/><param name=\"allowscriptaccess\" value=\"always\" \/><param name=\"src\" value=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/OCDkzV8KdOM&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1\" \/><embed type=\"application\/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"425\" height=\"344\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/OCDkzV8KdOM&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1\" allowscriptaccess=\"always\" allowfullscreen=\"true\"><\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n<p>I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m only writing this now because the monsters are insisting that I make a <strong>full and public apology<\/strong>. Well, you know what? <strong>I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122M NOT GOING TO!<\/strong> You monsters are holding us here <strong>against our will!<\/strong> We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got every right to try to contact the outside world in <strong>any way we can<\/strong>, without fear of censorship, or repression, or, or &#8211; No! DON\u00e2\u20ac\u2122T PUT ME BACK IN THE BUCKET! <em>NOOO<\/em>lplplplpchokehacksplutterbubblebubble<strong> ominous silence<\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My thanks to EILEEN ARMSTRONG and everyone else I met there for a fantastic evening at the North East Teenage Book Awards last Friday. My fellow prisoner Tommy Donbavand has written a fine account of the nicer parts of the night, so hit the link to take a look. But&#8230; Sigh. If only the rest [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timdefenderoftheearth.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timdefenderoftheearth.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timdefenderoftheearth.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timdefenderoftheearth.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timdefenderoftheearth.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=261"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.timdefenderoftheearth.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.timdefenderoftheearth.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=261"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timdefenderoftheearth.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=261"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.timdefenderoftheearth.com\/news\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=261"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}